another moral hangover. fuck.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Houston, we have a squirter
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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