he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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