what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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