Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it was like eating out sand paper
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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