If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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