i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You took a bar mat shot.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize