office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
NoShamevember. You game?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize