wakey wakey hands off snakey
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
