mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
