I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
