That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
