ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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