Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
