I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
