You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
