I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
