I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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