He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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