I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
