girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They took my balls.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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