addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
