you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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