you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
