Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
