I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
