maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
