i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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