I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
