Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
