3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
