If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize