my being single is dangerous.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
