i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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