YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
