do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
