Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
