I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
