I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
