just tell him i said nine months
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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