What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
