Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Church boner. Awkwardddd
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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