its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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