Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
