the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Farmville is her only friend.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
