Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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