i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
