Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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