There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize