so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize