Only a mothe r could love this liver
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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