i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
