You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
