he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
