he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
