So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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