I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Who died my cat blue again?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
