i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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