I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Nicole vs. Life
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
