Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
