I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
