Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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