he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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