Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
