Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
